Sometimes labour and birth do not happen in the way you expect.
You deserve to feel heard, respected and cared for, whatever your experience has been.
Seeking support
If you would like support, there are gentle and flexible options available. You might want to seek support straight away or you might feel this need further down the track or need several conversations.
You can:
- talk with your GP, midwife, or maternal and child health nurse
- access hospital‑based bereavement or social work services
- contact perinatal mental health services such as PANDA, or a hospital birth debriefing service
- receive specialist support for pregnancy and infant loss.
You are not alone. Support is available at any stage, without pressure or expectations.
Learn more about the resources and support services available.
Birth trauma
Birth trauma is when someone has had a very distressing or upsetting experience during childbirth that can affect their mental health and wellbeing.
Birth trauma is not limited to loss or medical emergencies and it isn't limited to the woman giving birth. Even when a birth is physically safe, some people may feel distressed if they felt unheard, overwhelmed or not included in decisions about care.
These feelings can show up in different ways. Some people notice them straight away while others notice them weeks or months later or perhaps not until your next pregnancy. In some cases, it may be a loved one or someone close to you that notices.
You might feel mixed emotions, uncertainty, or a sense that something didn’t feel right. These experiences are real and valid, whatever the birth outcome. You do not need to explain or justify your experience to deserve support.
Feeling safe during birth is shaped by clear communication, consent, dignity and respect. It also includes having your cultural, spiritual and personal needs recognised in ways that matter to you.
Learn more
Traumatic childbirth experience | Pregnancy Birth and Baby
Birth trauma and recovery | PANDA
From Pain to Power: Transforming Birth Trauma into Strength | ForWhen
Perinatal loss and bereavement
Pregnancy loss affects many people occurring in about 1 in 4 women in early pregnancy.
Losses later in pregnancy or after birth are much less common in Australia, happening in around 1 in 90 births. People may experience loss in different ways.
This can include:
- miscarriage
- stillbirth
- ectopic pregnancy
- molar pregnancy
- missed miscarriage
- ending a pregnancy through abortion
- termination for medical reasons
- receiving a complex or unexpected diagnosis
- the death of a baby after birth, including following care in a neonatal unit
- palliative care.
Grief around the loss of a baby can be complex and personal. Feelings may come and go or feel mixed. Love, sadness, anger, and disappointment can exist at the same time. These feelings may appear straight away or develop over time, including during future pregnancies or parenting. There is no “right” way to grieve, and no set timeline.
After the loss of a baby, feeling supported often comes from being treated with kindness and respect, making decisions with support, time and information, someone to help you navigate the practical considerations and having someone to listen and have your experience recognised.
People may also have cultural, spiritual, or personal ways of understanding loss and remembering their baby or experience. These choices are individual and should be guided by what feels meaningful to you and your family. You do not need to explain, justify, or compare your experience to anyone.
Many people describe needing space, time and choice. This may include:
- deciding how much information you receive
- who is involved in making decisions and arrangements or providing support
- how you are supported after you leave the hospital
- deciding how much time you want to spend with your baby and any other keepsakes you would like (for example: handprints, locks of hair, or photos)
- spending time with your family, introducing the baby to your other children or choosing privacy.
These needs can change over time and support should change to meet your needs.
Loss can also involve uncertainty, such as waiting for results, managing a complex diagnosis or not knowing what might happen next. This uncertainty can feel heavy and distressing and support is available even when you’re not sure what comes next.
Autopsy
If your baby has died you may be offered an autopsy (post-mortem examination). An autopsy may help provide answers about why your baby died and offer information that may be helpful for future pregnancies.
Deciding whether your baby has an autopsy is a personal choice.
Learn more
Information for families | VPAS | The Royal Women's Hospital
Resources and support services
Grief & emotional support
View more View lessGrief – Support Services | Better Health Channel
A Victorian government directory of bereavement counselling and community support services for those navigating grief and loss.
Death of a Baby | Better Health Channel
An overview of the emotional impact of miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal death, addressing grief, relationship stresses, and anxiety about future pregnancies.
Bears of Hope | Pregnancy and infant loss support
Provides free support, counselling, resources, and peer connections for families affected by pregnancy and infant loss. They offer workshops, support groups, memorial services, and community programs for bereaved parents and their families
Grief and Loss Support | Red Nose Australia
Red Nose Australia offers compassionate 24/7 support for anyone grieving the loss of a baby or child, including counsellors, support groups, and practical resources.
Hospital To Home Program | Red Nose Support For Grieving Parents After Baby Loss
The hospital to home program provides personalised bereavement support for parents and families following the death of a baby. Flexible support including face-to-face visits where available, phone or video calls. Interpreters can also be arranged if needed.
Jiba Pepeny Star Baby | Red Nose Australia
A culturally sensitive resource supporting First Nations parents and families through Sorry Business following the stillbirth of a baby, covering what to expect, cultural practices, and going home without bub.
Perinatal Bereavement | Gidget Foundation
An accessible explanation of perinatal bereavement — the experience of losing a baby through miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal death — covering its emotional impact on parents, families, and support networks.
Support for Pregnancy Loss & Miscarriage | Pink Elephants Support Network
Miscarriage and early pregnancy loss information, support and guidance. LiveChat for one-on-one immediate connection and support.
Clinical & parent information
View more View lessWhat Now | The Royal Women's Hospital
A practical patient factsheet guiding parents through the immediate steps and decisions after a baby has died in pregnancy.
Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Death of a Baby | The Royal Women's Hospital
Information on the clinical services and emotional support available after the loss of a baby at any stage of pregnancy or following birth.
Bereavement Care and Support After Perinatal Loss | ACSQHC
An Australian Commission on Safety and Quality in Health Care resource on what parents can expect from bereavement care after perinatal loss.
The Perinatal Loss Centre
A specialist centre run by a bereavement midwife and perinatal clinical psychologist, offering counselling and support for both bereaved parents and health professionals navigating perinatal loss.
Financial & government support
View more View lessWhat help there is when a child dies | Services Australia
An official government guide to the bereavement payments and services available after the death of a child, including Family Tax Benefit, Carer Allowance, and Carer Payment options.
Stillborn Baby Payment | Services Australia
A one-off government payment available to eligible families who have experienced a stillbirth, subject to income and Family Tax Benefit criteria.
When a child has died | myGov
Find government resources and support services after the death of a child.
Family Tax Benefit (FTB) bereavement payment
If you were receiving the Family Tax Benefit (FTB), it can continue to be paid for 14 weeks after your child’s passing to help with living and funeral costs.